Be Cool

Be Cool.

Heart’s pounding. 

So fucking stupid.

“They’re gonna getcha.”

“What?”

“What can I getcha, hun?”

“Oh, um, coffee please. Black.”

Hand’s sweaty. Does she know?

Of course not, idiot.

Cracking up. Get it together. Be cool. Like…

“Anything to eat, or do you need a minute?”

“Hm? No just the coffee… T-thanks.”

Hand her the menu. 

Hands shaking.

Don’t be weird.

“Thanks, Hun.” 

Be cool. Like Brando. Wait. Not Brando. Brando’s fucking weird. Did that scene in Godfather with no pants. Wore a Bucket of chicken on his head in that other thing. 

Be DiNero.

Tavis Bickle. 

Shit. Actors are weird.

God damned bennies.

So fucking stupid. 

Just keep it together. Breath. Slow. 

“Coffee’ll keep you up all night, hun. you Sure you don’t want something to eat. Got breakfast 24 hours.”

“What? No… Thank you.”

Jesus, psycho, be more suspicious. 

Be cool. The hard part’s over. 

Breath. 

Money’s coming. Johnny won’t pull a runner. Wouldn’t risk it. Got that tape.

Take a sip. Don’t be weird. 

Be cool. Brodrick in Farris Buler… He killed a guy. Hit him with a car, right? Don’t think about…

She was so young. Blond. Blood everywhere. Fucking god damned bennies. So fucking stupid. Shouldn’t have taken those before a job. Would have been fine if…

Gonna be sick. 

Bathroom.

“Bathroom?”

“Right behind you, hun.” 

Hold it in. Through the door. Just a few seconds. Make it to the…. Thank go…

“Blugggggghhhh.”

Hate this. Sofuckingstupid. 

Chili cheese dogs and Benzedrine. Never again.

Toilet bowl. Cool. My only friend. That’s Cosby. He’s a rapist. In prison. Probably wind up… 

Here we go again.

“Blugggghhhh.”

Disgusting. Need a toothbrush. Just use water. 

Better. A little. 

Be cool. Like… Fuck it. Just be cool.

Johnny’s coming. Nobody can tell. Go back in. Drink coffee. Don’t be weird. Meet Johnny. Get the money. Then Mexico. Hard part’s over.

Deep breath. Be cool. 

Here we go. 

Wait.

Just open the door, pussy.

Nobody noticed. Nobody’s watching. Nobody knows. It’s all good.

Wait! Lights through the diner window. Blue and red. Cops. 

Shit. 

So fucking stupid.

They’re coming.

Gotta Run.

Wait.

They’re stopped. 

Maybe a quarter mile.

Johnny’s car.

Shit. Fuck.

Ok. Be cool.

Money’s gone. Fuck.

Breath. Still free. Need a plan. Be cool.

Pay. Tip. Leave. Nothing suspicious. Just sick. Cops are busy. 

With Johnny.

Say thanks to the waitress.

“Thanks.”

Tipped well. Good person.

What did she say?

Doesn’t matter. Just wave.

Through the door. 

God, they have him on the ground. 

Don’t look.

Wait. Don’t be weird. Look a little.

Too Long.

God, blood on his face.

Just get in the car.

Left it unlocked. So fucking stupid.

Turn it on. 

Don’t forget lights.

Reverse. 

Drive. 

2 miles over the speed limit. Slower’s suspicious, faster dangerous. 

Nothing weird.

Be cool.


Thanks for reading Be Cool! This was my first crack at writing something purely in inner monologue. I hope it was more entertaining than confusing. If you enjoyed it, hit that like button and leave a comment. If you’d like to check out more of my weird stories and musings about life, the universe, and the meaning of existence, then subscribe to Mindful of Madness. You can also find me on twitter @drewjokeringram or on Instagram @andrewingram88. My comedy album, “This Was A Bad Idea” is on Spotify, iTunes or pretty much anywhere else you listen to music. Thanks, my self-esteem depends on you.

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