Dave Grohl in every band at Festival

MIDDLE OF BUMFUCK, Nowhere – Festivalgoers were shocked this weekend to find Dave Grohl apparently joined every band on the playbill. 

The veteran rocker, who is most famous as the drummer of Nirvana and front man of his own band the Foo Fighters, has set a precedent of collaborating with artists from across the rock and roll spectrum; but according to hundreds of eye-witness accounts he didn’t miss a single one of the 40 performances during the three day event. 

“I mean a lot of bands he’s played with are on the fest this year, so I kind of assumed he’d make some guest appearances,” said David Gilchrest, 19, who wasn’t alive when the Foo Fighters formed. “But he’s been at every set I’ve seen so far… how is that even possible?” 

Gilchrest isn’t the only fan confused by Grohl’s ability to play set after set. There are even reports that Grohl was seen in more than one place at the same time. 

“So I caught a bit of the Foo Fighters set, it was fine, nothing to write home about,” said veteran festival goer Jimmy Helford. “So I decided to cut out early and catch this cool local band playing on the second stage. I was shocked when I got there and found Dave behind the kit just going to fucking town… I don’t even know how he got there!”

Helford said his shock grew when he happened by the Mumford and Sons set and found Grohl sitting in on mandolin. 

“Look, it’s not like I wanted to be there,” he said defensively. “I’ve got a girlfriend like everybody else! But that’s not the point! I know for a fact he was on stage with Nine Inch Nails at the exact same time!”

Photos from the weekend confirm Grohl sat in on a shocking 39 out of 40 sets, although unconfirmed reports said it was actually Grohl under Deadmou5e’s giant plastic head.  

When we reached out to Grohl for comment he responded, “I just like playing music, man. Rock and roll is the only thing I’m good at, and I’m going to do it until I die or they lock me up.”  

Thanks for reading this weird bit of satire! If you enjoyed it hit that like button and leave a comment. If you’d like to check out more of my weird stories and musings about life, the universe, and the meaning of existence, then subscribe to mindful of madness. You can also find me on twitter @drewjokeringram or on Instagram @andrewingram88. Thanks, my self-esteem depends on you.

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